Nah 'Member What Happened Last Time We Tried That?
by Griffin of Malik
Summary: Written on a sugar high. Inu-Yasha and Sesshoumaru's whacky sister is coming to visit them, and they're trying to figure out how to get rid of her.
1. We've Got Our Differences But

Author's Note: Okay, I'm here again. Doing something stupid. There's no way in hell I can make this a one-shot. But uh, it's my first Inu-Yasha story, so bear with me. It's humor naturally, and I think I'm going to be abusing Sesshoumaru. I'll try to leave him perfectly in character, though. I want Miroku to be in here to, because that's my baby!! *huggletackleglomps Miroku*  
  
Miroku: ^___^ *is glomped*  
  
Now where was I? Oh, I don't own Miroku *is sad* or Inu-Yasha. The whole series, I mean. Well, on with the fic!  
  
We Have Our Differences, But.  
  
Kagome sighed heavily as she got off of her bike. Their had not been anything to do around here lately. Inu-Yasha was exactly the same as he was before, but if possible, worse. She frowned at the thought of him. Once again, she was lost in her thoughts, staring off into space. "Ahh!" she screamed as she was knocked over. "Inu-Yasha, watch where you're going!!" she said angrily.  
  
"Move, woman. I don't have time for you," he said in his usual tone.  
  
She stood up to see where he was going. He was carrying all kinds of supplies as if he was going away for a while on a camping trip. She raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Ay, there is not many things Inu-Yasha fears," Kaede sighed from behind her.  
  
She turned around to face the miko. "What do you mean?"  
  
Kaede raised an eyebrow. "Didn't ye know? Inu-Yasha's sister is coming to visit him and the Lord."  
  
"Inu-Yasha and Sesshoumaru have a sister??" Kagome gaped.  
  
"Ay," she answered. "Possibly the only thing Sesshoumaru fears as well is his older sister."  
  
"But I thought Sesshoumaru was the oldest," Kagome protested.  
  
"No," she answered. "They have two older sisters, and both are coming to visit."  
  
"But, why are they afraid?"  
  
"Because Takai is a nutcase," Inu-Yasha growled, passing them once more.  
  
"Who's Takai?" Kagome questioned.  
  
Inu-Yasha stopped in his tracks. "Don't you know anything, woman?" He continued walking, grumbling to himself.  
  
"Takai is the eldest of them all," Kaede answered fairly. "And Musei is the second oldest."  
  
"I had no idea Inu-Yasha had family other than Sesshoumaru," Kagome breathed.  
  
"Well, rest assured if you stay around long enough, you won't have to worry about them," Inu-Yasha mumbled. He opened Kagome's backpack, searching through it.  
  
"Hey! Don't go through my stuff!" she yelled, snatching her bag off of her back and away from him.  
  
Inu-Yasha growled. "You will give me Ramen for my trip!!"  
  
"I will not give you Ramen, Inu-Yasha! You could at least ask!"  
  
"You shouldn't be fighting with that human Inu-Yasha. If you had any sense left, I'd suggest you leave now. She's nearing," a familiar voice said calmly.  
  
Inu-Yasha growled again. "Lord of The Western Lands. Feh. What brings you here? Don't tell me a family reunion," Inu-Yasha said hatefully.  
  
"Hardly," Sesshoumaru answered the hanyou smoothly. "I've learned that I can't run from Takai." He moved slightly, allowing Rin and Jaken to step out from behind him.  
  
"Lord Sesshoumaru," Jaken said, pulling the Lord's cloak. "Aren't you going to kill him and claim the Tetsusaiga?"  
  
"Rin wants to eat rocks!" Rin said, tugging at Sesshoumaru.  
  
A smoke rolled in, causing all of them to cover their faces. Rin hid behind Sesshoumaru, hoping to guard herself.  
  
"Now that I've got you all here," another familiar voice said. The smoke cleared, only to reveal Naraku. He coughed violently.  
  
Kagome raised her eyebrow slightly. "Naraku?"  
  
He continued coughing, gasping for air. "I have asthma," he said between breaths. His eyes watered as he sank to the ground.  
  
"That's fine," Sesshoumaru said nonchalantly. "We'll wait for you to continue."  
  
"You could only be so kind," Naraku said regaining his breath. He finally inhaled one last time, seemingly fine. He pulled out an inhaler, holding it to his mouth. "As I was saying, now that you're all here I can kill you and take the jewel shards-" he was cut off suddenly, feeling a lump hit his throat.  
  
"Rin doesn't like the way you sound," she said, throwing another rock at his head.  
  
"Oh, my god, he's choking!!" Kagome yelled. "Somebody help him!"  
  
"Feh," Inu-Yasha concluded. "This is all your fault, Sesshoumaru. Your human threw a rock in his mouth."  
  
"I cannot control what Rin does," Sesshoumaru concluded.  
  
"Liar!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  
  
Naraku fell to the ground, gasping for air.  
  
Rin kicked him in the back, thinking that he was playing to make her laugh. "More More!!"  
  
Naraku spit the rock out, growling at Rin. "Desist, small being!!" he yelled.  
  
"Rin wants a grass cookie now!" she smiled, running back to Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru, can Rin play with Jaken's staff?"  
  
"Jaken, give Rin your staff," he concluded turning to his hanyou brother.  
  
"But Lord Sesshoumaru, the last time she had it, she broke my knee!"  
  
"Are you questioning me, Jaken?" Sesshoumaru asked, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"No sir!!" he said instantly, handing the staff to the small child.  
  
"Boom boom!!" Rin said, hitting Jaken in the legs with the staff.  
  
"No!!" Jaken screamed painfully.  
  
She giggled. "Jaken screams like a girl!!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha, do you have any idea how to get rid of Takai?" Sesshoumaru questioned.  
  
"If she's so much trouble, why don't you tell her you don't want her here?" Kagome suggested.  
  
"No!!!!" Inu-Yasha said almost immediately. "Sesshoumaru, remember what happened last time we tried that?"  
  
*****  
  
Griff: *is laughing maniacally* Oh yes, he remembers...oh! Um, I know it wasn't all that funny, I tried not to make it to serious. Um, Takai, the name of the eldest means Death. But don't worry, that's the only serious chapter there is so ciao 4 now! 


	2. Embarressing flashback, nicknames and mo...

Sesshoumaru growled softly. "I remember," he answered the hanyou.  
  
Kagome blinked. "Well, she can't be that bad. What happened?"  
  
****Flashback****  
  
"I'm not doing it, you do it," the hanyou whispered to his older brother.  
  
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, turning to face the eldest of them. "Takai." He sighed, calming a bit.  
  
"Yes, Sesshy-poo-poo?"  
  
Sesshoumaru sweatdropped as he heard his younger brothersnicker behind him. "We have things to do; it's nice to see you, but Inu-Yasha and I are very busy, and-"  
  
Takai's eyes watered visibly. "Oh, Bunny...I never thought you and Sesshy- poo-poo would be too busy for me...what would father say?" She burst into tears, causing them to cover their ears. She shattered the glass surrounding them, and gave them a headache they would never forget.  
  
"We're sorry!" Inu-Yasha spoke up. "We've always got time for you, just stop crying!!"  
  
She stopped abruptly. "Yay! You love me again! Group hug!!" She embraced them both, squeezing the breath out of them. "Now let's go take a bath together!" she giggled.  
  
****End Flashback****  
  
Kagome by now, was rolling on the ground with laughter. "Sesshy-poo- poo? And bunny? Oh, man..."  
  
Inu-Yasha growled. "Feh. You weren't even listening to the story!!"  
  
"Wait a minute, you guys took baths together? Now that's embarrassing," she snickered.  
  
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, turning back to Jaken. He was nearly purple by now, and Naraku was still coughing violently from asthma. "You're pathetic," he spoke aloud.  
  
Naraku coughed again, looking into Sesshoumaru's eyes. "What's that you say, Rafiki? Yes, Sesshoumaru *is* mean, isn't he?"  
  
Kagome blinked, also now staring at Naraku. "Are you talking to someone?" she queried, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"My pelt," he answered proudly. "Her name is Rafiki."  
  
"Like the baboon in the Lion King movie?" Kagome asked, raising her other eyebrow.  
  
"What's a movie?" Rin asked, hitting Jaken in the shins.  
  
"Lord Sesshoumaru, please...!!" Jaken begged, attempting to run.  
  
Sesshoumaru stuck out his foot slightly, watching Jaken land flat on his face. Rin jumped on top of him, continuing her barely purposeful assault. "She is here," he noted to no one in particular.  
  
A dark sinister cloud rolled over the sky, threatening to spill over with lightening at any given moment. Then the sky coughed visibly.  
  
"Since when does the sky cough?" Kagome gaped.  
  
It coughed again, the cloud swirling towards them, forming a person (or what seemed to be one) slowly. "Sorry about that," the figure stated softly. "I've got a bit of a cold."  
  
Inu-Yasha's eyes widened slightly at the sight of the person before him. Takai.  
  
"Inu-Bunny!" Takai squealed, embracing him in a very tight hug.  
  
Inu-Yasha lost his breath almost immediately. "Takai, I can't breathe," he let out barely.  
  
"Ew, Bunny, you stink!!!!" she screamed covering her nose.  
  
Kagome blinked. She couldn't believe what she saw in front of her. "Inu-Yasha, that's your sister?"  
  
Takai blinked, eyeing Kagome. She gasped softly. "You must be Bunny's bitch," she smiled, shaking her hand. "How do you do?"  
  
"Just fine thanks," Kagome said, snatching her hand away from Takai. "I'm not a bitch."  
  
"You're right. You reek of humans," she concluded. "Inu-Bunny, I can't believe you have a human!! Does she do any tricks??"  
  
"No," Inu-Yasha started gravely. His eyes widened slightly. "But Sesshoumaru has a human. Maybe she does some."  
  
Takai squealed in delight. "Sesshy-poo-poo!!" she screamed, running towards him. She ran literally into him, hugging the breath out of him also, and knocking him to the floor.  
  
"Takai," he answered emotionlessly.  
  
"Sesshoumaru, you know you're...not my favorite, but we're going to have so much fun!!!! First we're going to go take a bath, because both of you stink!! Remember the baths we used to take together, Sesshoumaru??"  
  
"How could I forget."  
  
"That's wonderful!! Then when we're done, we can make that skinny little human girl for dinner," she sighed, pointing to Rin. She stood up, brushing herself off.  
  
"You'll not touch Rin," Sesshoumaru growled defensively. He eyed Inu- Yasha, who was smiling from ear to ear. "Cook Kagome instead. At least she could feed all of us."  
  
Takai turned to see Kagome, who at this point, actually looked more like a fresh roasted ham instead of a person. Her eyes turned into soup bowls and saucers. "Good idea; let's do that now."  
  
"Hey, don't eat me!! Eat Kaede instead!! She's lived her life!!" Kagome yelled, pointing to her!! "The older the berry the sweeter the juice!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes. "You're faithful to your friends."  
  
"Well, she was gonna *eat me*!!! And you sure didn't protest!!"  
  
"Maybe you don't understand something: I don't like you!" Inu-Yasha yelled.  
  
"Hm, actually it's the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. But that's okay," Takai smiled. "I don't want to cook Kagome; she's all skin and bones! I'd rather cook the older miko; she looks juicy and tender," her mouth watered.  
  
"Why don't ye help me make a vegetable stew instead," Kaede suggeted lightly.  
  
"That takes away the thrill of the hunt," Takai pouted. "But I suppose that's fine. Bunny and Poo-Poo, where's the bath house? We're gonna bathe together, just like old times!!"  
  
"May I join you?" Naraku asked politely. "I reek of humans as well," he noted, looking Takai up and down.  
  
"Um, it's a family thing. Sorry." Takai was so absent minded. Couldn't she take a hint?  
  
*****  
  
Griff: Yup Yup!! That's all for now. I know it was probably shorter than the last one, but it wasn't serious. I liked the part where the cloud was coughing. Well, I can't update again until I come back from vacation in a week. So I'll thank you people now! ^_^ Oh, and if you've got any suggestions, namely embarrassing nicknames Takai can call them, please tell me. You can email me, or tell me in your reviews. It doesn't matter. In the next chapter, I'll describe her so ^_^ I don't know why I make that face. ^_^' As you can see, I updated all three of my fics at once. ^_^  
  
?????????????: Uh, nice name. ^.^ Okay, here you go! I updated, as requested.  
  
Lil' Chi Chi: Okay! ^-^ I hope it's funny.  
  
Jschu25: I can't help but abuse Naraku. It's so...easy. ^_^  
  
Lady Sephiroth: ^_^ Ihop said hi, and he wants pancakes.  
  
LMandi: O.O That's unfortunate. Please, don't wet yourself. There's more Naraku abuse to come; not to mention I just gave myself a cruel idea. ^-^  
  
Malik'sgurl: Are you an author here? Well, there's always 1 serious chappie in all my stories, I have no idea why. o.O  
  
Hitomi: Aww, thankies! Rin is a human girl that follows Sesshoumaru around. I don't know why it's funny to me when she abuses Jaken. It seems...natural. n.n  
  
Hanna-chan: Thankies muchies n.n  
  
Emme: Nice name. How do you pronounce it? It comes natural for me to abuse Naraku! ^.^ I have NO IDEA why! I'm glad you like it.  
  
YAMI'S GAL: What do you mean, what happened to him? I still love and claim him, if that's what you mean. You think I'm funny? Yay! *huggles Yami's Gal* Please don't take that hug the wrong way o_O  
  
Anee/Arain Rowan: Thank you! n.n LMAO poor Arain ^.^  
  
Seirei queen of darkness: *waves back* Hi Blake! You're so cool, despite what people say. ^_^ Poor Seirei...  
  
Sen Taro Taisensei: I don't wanna get you in trouble, Sen Taro ^-^ Actually, stupid ideas just hit me (literally) in the middle of the night, while I'm typing, eating, watching TV...among other things. Well, I'm glad you likies n.n  
  
ginagurl1234: Uh, It's Musei. I forgot what that means. *sweatdrops* Yea, Takai means death, but as you can see, she's not serious at all. You know L- Seph and I came up with that idea while we were cleaning the kitchen. It was waaaaay before we knew about ff.net though. o.O  
  
Well, that's all. I thank all for reviewing, and I can expect some reviews when I get back from vacation, right? Ah, thanks. Well, ciao 4 now! 


	3. Naraku has what!

                "Oh, but actually, I would like to ask you a question, Naraku was it?" Takai wondered, staring at the sky.

                "Anything, my………full-figured crazed………dog-lady………" Naraku answered.

                "Um, why is your robe so long??" She smiled. She was SO oblivious.

                "I………" Naraku sweatdropped, lifting his robe. "I have webbed feet."

                "EW!!!!" Kagome screamed, falling to the ground. "That's so gross!! You look like a duck!!!"

                "It is a mere imperfection!!" Naraku snapped defensively. "Rafiki says if you can't love me for who I am, then you're a meanie!!"

                "So you can swim good then?" Takai asked.

                "………I can't swim at all," Naraku sighed.

                "No wonder you chose the path of darkness," Inu-Yasha smirked. "You figured demons couldn't reject you since they're all freaks too!!"

                 "I am not a freak!!" Naraku yelled defensively. "I'm humanely challenged."

                "I'm sure!" Inu-Yasha grinned.

                "Come on Mr. Doggy-fluffy-butt!" Takai grabbed Inu-Yasha by the hair and dragged him towards Sesshoumaru. "Lady-face-head-cookie-eyed-toes!! That's what  I used to call you Sesshoumaru!!" She giggled, grabbing his arm. "Come on!! Old wench an Mr. Fluffy's bitch have to start preparing dinner!" she smiled.

****Meanwhile………****

                Kagome sighed, gathering the vegetables in her arms. How could they hate her visiting? She was sweet; a little overprotective, and she needed to get her facts straight, but………well, and she was naïve, and oblivious.

                "Don't ye worry about those three," Kaede smiled, chopping up a carrot. "They were meant for each other. They're in perfect balance, those three."

                "Well, it doesn't seem like it," Kagome said, peeling an onion. "Why don't they want her around Kaede?"

                "Oh, she brings trouble where ever she goes, destroys things, embarrasses them, turns people against each other, things like that. Nothing major though."

                Kagome raised an eyebrow. Nothing major?

*****

                "Sesshoumaru?" Takai questioned softly.

                Now she wanted to call him by his name when no one was around. "Yes my puss-filled donut."

                "You're ugly."

                Sesshoumaru's face fell (if that's at all possible) and he merely rolled his eyes.

                "But this water is soothing. I like it. Inu-Yasha, what have you been up to?"

                "Well, I found the wind scar!! So now I can access the full power of the Tetsusaiga!"

                Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes again. Takai favored Inu-Yasha over him, so he just had to show his butt.

                "That's nice. Have you been keeping Sesshoumaru in line?"

                "You bet," Inu-Yasha smiled. "He's just jealous cuz I'm better than he is."

                "This might be true," Sesshoumaru spoke. "But I know what I want and when to go after it. You step into battle swinging your sword, and you step out with a bruised ego."

                "Are you questioning my intelligence??" Inu-Yasha yelled.

                "No Inu-Yasha. By asking that question, you gave me all the proof I need that you are not worthy of the Tetsusaiga. I don't need to insult you, you do it just fine."

                "What was that??" Inu-Yasha yelled. Sesshoumaru was always starting a fight. He was so jealous.

                "Now now boys, don't fight," Takai smiled. "It's clear that Sesshoumaru is not better than you Inu-Yasha, just older."

                Sesshoumaru stared into the trees around them. They could think what they wanted to. Having the Tetsusaiga was a privilege Inu-Yasha was not worthy of, but having the Tenseiga was something no one could take away. Not even Takai.

                "You know Musei's coming shortly?" Takai questioned. "She never says ANYTHING!!!" She giggled.

                "That might have something to do with the fact that your father didn't give her anything," Sesshoumaru spoke absent-mindedly. "Or she doesn't like you."

                "Yeah, well she can favor you all she wants, cuz the oldest like me the best!!" Inu-Yasha blew a raspberry at Sesshoumaru.

                _Oh, aren't we oozing maturity, Sesshoumaru thought to himself. "Musei doesn't favor me. She doesn't favor anyone."_

                "Yeah she does!" Inu-Yasha shot back. "She's the only one that didn't make fun of your embarrassing secrets! Like that birthmark on your butt!"

                "What birthmark?" Takai blinked.

                "The smiling face on your butt!!"

                "Oh, I remember that!!" Takai laughed.

                "Really?" Sesshoumaru smiled, a rare occurrence. He looked purely psychotic. "Then perhaps you remember Inu-Yasha's stuffed teddy bear named Foo-Foo."

                Takai burst into giggles. "I remember!!"

                "Yeah well, Sesshoumaru had footie jammy jams!!" Inu-Yasha shot back.

                "You once ran into the forest dressed in Kagome's clothes. You had a bow an arrow, and you were singing "Dancing Queen" by the A*Teens." 

                "Well………how did you know about that?!?!?" Inu-Yasha yelled.

                "Dinner is ready," Kagome called. "Come on everyone!! Naraku, you too," she yelled.

*****

Griff: Ooh, Sesshoumaru had him in the last one, but I thought the footie pajamas was pretty funny. Well, I'll thank the reviewers now. I don't where this story is going, when Musei is coming, and when this is gonna end. ^_^ But you'll bear with me right? ^_^

Nyaa o_O 35 reviews. Thanx peeps:

**Sen Taro-Taisensei: ** Yes, she's very scary. See how bad she treats Sesshoumaru?? Lol I think it's funny because he's my fav. I want to put Miroku in here, but I'm afraid he'll just be the biggest freak ever. And I want to put Sango in here too, but I think I would portray her as White-She-Devil from Undercover Brother lol ^_^

**Philly Steak n Cheese: **lol your name is so ghetto. Whoo hoo another sesshoumaru fan ^_^

**Hana-chan: **Aw, I'm glad you think that's funny. My sister was like: "Ew!!! He has webbed feet!!" I thought it was funny though. ^_^

**ginagurl1234: **lol thanx for those. I'll use them in the next chappie ^_^

**My-Name-is-Spoken:** ur name is so cool ^_^ lol Mr. Winkles??? I gotta use that!!!

**Yami's Gal 3000: **No, they're not based on anyone in particular. I just thought it would be funny. L-Seph doesn't embarrass me like that, so it's definitely not her. But my mother does so, I guess Takai could be her. @_@ Oh and the second oldest is Musei. It means "silent". ^_^

**Seirei queen of darkness:** lol you are random, but I would be too if I was around Blake and Ray all the time………Yay!! Blake is here!!! *huggles Blake* Yay!! Thankies for reviewing ^_^

**The Mythotical Mage:** ^_^ I'm glad you're still laughing. I'm trying to think of more ailments for Naraku to have………he's got asthma and webbed feet………*racks brain for more ailments*

**Kagome45765: **Thank you. I'm glad you like it. ^_^

**MikoMandolay: **Well, everyone calls him fluffy, and I'm kind of tired of hearing that ^_^ She calls him bunny because………it's embarrassing? I don't know, it just hit me! ^_^ Hey trust me, I want Miroku in it too. I'll have to ask L-Seph to help me, because I just see him as a big freak ^_^ So he'd just be a big freak lol And all of his lines would be abunch of sexual references XD

**KawriFluffInu: ** Thankies!! ^_^ Wow I make that face at everyone, huh?

**Emme:** Oh, that's cool. Lol I couldn't have them eat Kaede *sudden thought* Oh, I forgot about Shippou!!!! My lil' kitsune………I'll have to throw him in the next chapter!! All in favor raise a finger!! ^_^

**Katz Sama: **More Naraku abuse? I'm trying to think of other things that's wrong with him………and just because I'm mean I think the stew is going to run him off!!! HAHA!!! Naraku with diarrhea! ^_^ That's so mean. 

Well, I'm thanking all of you for reviewing, because I had 35 reviews for the first 2 chappies! That's so nice! ^_^  So thankies! 

I have two new Yu-Gi-Ou fics up, they are both humor. One is "A Winter In Alaska" and the other is "What Does This Look Like To You?" A Winter in Alaska is about Ryou winning an all expenses paid trip to Alaska, but at the end of the chapter, I threw Yami in there. You'll laugh at that; he's got a short attention span. What Does This Look Like To You is the YGO characters taking an ink blot test. ^_^ And I'm thinking about what I could do with the great big world of Yuu Yuu Hakusho………So many cruel intentions………Well ciao 4 now ^_^


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